Russian Customs
or why lying can be a good thing
or why lying can be a good thing
"Russia is a riddle wrapped in a
mystery inside an enigma."
Winston Churchill
mystery inside an enigma."
Winston Churchill
vanu: the prized and respected talent of being able to
tell lies for entertainment. hmm..sounds like WHO?!
tell lies for entertainment. hmm..sounds like WHO?!
BASICS
Russia comprises 1/6th of the Earth’s total land mass. It contains 11 time zones and
dozens of country-states where over 100 ethnic groups live.
The twenty-four hour clock is customarily used. When it is not, time is given with
morning, evening, night or day added, not am or pm There are different
grammar rules before the ½ hour and after the ½ hour. When written, a
period is used, not a colon. (4.10, not 4:10)
Always carry tissues with you, toilet paper is not always available in public
restrooms.
Inappropriately using the familiar ty form when you speak is an insult. There is a
ceremony called brudershaft to move from vy to ty. You pour drinks, link
arms, drink, and kiss two times.
Phone calls are answered with Da? Or Allo? Phone calls are often interrupted or
disconnected and Russians consider it rude to discuss anything important on
the phone.
Street intersections often have underground passageways, called perekhody, and
there is a fine if you don’t use them.
Russians claim that in Russia there are only two types of smoking areas: ‘smoking’
and ‘chain smoking’. Do not expect to find a no smoking area anywhere.
NAMES
Russian names traditionally consist of the imya (first name/Christian name)(Pavel),
otchestov (patronymic: father’s name with ‘son of’ or ‘daughter of’ suffix)
(Andrieivich: son of Andrie), and familya (family name) (Chekov).
They greet each other and refer to each other by their imya and otchestov. Except
by family and very close friends, the imya and patronymic are always used.
(Pavel Andrieivich)
They introduce each other and sign their names with their imya and familya. (Pavel
Chekov)
They always sign letters to familiars, and often times to others, with their first
initial.(P)
Family and close friends will use any one of a dozen diminutives for a person.
(Pasha, Pashka, Pavelotchka, Pavelrushka, Andriech...) Or pet
names/nicknames. (Malyenki, etc)
For someone very close, it is a sign of respect to only use their otchestov.
(Andrieivich)
GREETINGS
Russians shake hands with strangers when they greet and when they part. Always
take off your gloves or mittens to shake hands, and never shake hands over a
threshold. Russians believe this will cause an argument between you. (Women
must offer their hands first.)
Russian greetings are seen as cool to Westerners. Do not smile: it is seen as a sign
of stupidity or foolishness.
Russians give bear hugs to close friends and family members, and kiss each other
on each cheek. The person being greeted always kisses the greeter.
Russians kiss people three times on the cheek as a sign of devotion. (3 is considered
a lucky number because “God loves the trinity.”)
Lack of physical contact is a sign that something is wrong to Russians.
It is not considered impolite not to introduce a new person: introduce yourself if
you want.
COMMON MANNERS
Russians wear their wedding rings on the RIGHT ring finger, not the left.
Russians value respect for those older than you, learning and personal feelings.
Russians are proud of their culture and enjoy talking about art, music, literature
and dance.
Russians may complain about their culture and country: never agree with them!
Knowledge about their culture and history is appreciated.
Russians greatly appreciate any attempt to speak their language.
Russians stand close to each other when talking. Personal space (the amount of room
left between people for comfort) is only 6"-10". (For Americans it is three
feet)
Sharing space and touching are considered positive values. With members of their
own sex they will hug, stroll arm in arm, touch each others hands and arms,
and occasionally kiss on the lips when talking. Women tend to sit while talking
to each other. Lack of physical contact is considered a sign that there is
something wrong between the two speakers.
They value baring their souls to each other, and someone is not considered a friend
until they have: the best way is when two people get completely drunk with
each other. A real relationship involves “touching each others souls”.
There is no Russian word for privacy. Listening to and butting into stranger’s
conversations is both common and expected.
Staring is not considered impolite.
Russians will approach both adults and children on the street with advice and
correct bad manners and dressing improperly for the weather. This is
considered a reflection of proper concern, not criticism. Anything they feel
is ‘uncultured’ will bring this attention of apparent strangers. The list of
activities which are unacceptable include not checking your coat, sitting on
the floor in a public building, putting your feet on the chair in front of you,
sitting with your legs spread out in front of you, not wearing a warm enough
coat, not buttoning your coat the entire way, sitting on concrete in a bathing
suit... you may be scolded NELZYA! (It isn’t done! It’s taboo!)
Do not smile at strangers, it is taken as a sign of stupidity.
Smiling is a sign of approval, smiles are not given freely.
It is considered extremely rude to make someone else look bad. Russians ask
questions so that the other person has a graceful way out. (Do you not know
where...?) (No, I don't know whre...).
If you disagree with someone, DO NOT hurt their feelings but deal with it openly.
Russians indicate disagreement by saying ‘we’ll have to see what we can do’.
White lies (vranyo) are considered a polite way not to offend another person or
cause problems.
Compliments are considered to diminish a person. They may spit over their
shoulders three times to ward off bad luck.
Raising your voice to a Russian will cause them to feel saddened and betrayed.
Swearing and dirty jokes, when not among friends, are considered a sign of
hooliganism. They are never done in front of a woman for any reason.
If you are late for a meeting, it is taken as disrespectful and rude. (Meetings,
however, usually start 10-20 minutes after everyone has arrived.
Exchanging business cards is a serious event in Russia. Make sure you have plenty
if you visit.
Russians are still very traditional to woman still and appreciate it when women are
‘feminine’ and respect their culture. Allow them to open doors, light cigarettes, kiss
your hand. Women will often hear “Razreshihtye vam pamech” (Let me help you.)
The correct response is “Vih ochin dabrih” (You’re very kind).
Russians will not offer their hand to a woman, but will shake hands if the woman
offers. They will only greet a woman with a handshake, they will not part with one.
In stores, clerks will put the change on the counter, never into your hand: it is
considered rude. You may be expected to pay the same way: look for a dish
on the counter or watch others.
Stores all close for an hour for lunch (supper) at 1 or 2 pm.
It is as common to give flowers to a man as it is to give them to a woman. Men
usually get carnations or daffodils rather than roses, however. Flowers must
be given in ODD numbers, except in the case of a death/funeral.
Printed cards are a sign of disrespect, it is taken as though you could not spare the
time to write a few words about your life.
Russians outline in black the names of people that have died. Don’t do this on memos
or in your datebook/calender. They will consider it a sign of your feeling of
doom about the item circled.
Dogs are working animals in Russia, don’t pet them unless they are obviously lap
dogs.
Picking mushrooms in late summer/early fall is the national favorite sport. (sobirat
griby) (gathering mushrooms) They are a delicacy but are never eaten raw:
they are pickled or marinated.
Russians are perplexed by the daily washing of hair: it is considered very bad for
the hair.
Couples are told by Russian Orthodox Church to cover icons in the bedroom before
having sex.
Traditional Russian women only wear their hair down to convey saddness.
If you compliment a Russian on a household item or an item they are wearing, they
will usually give it to you.
Never call a Russian ‘comrade’ or a ‘new Russian’. (A New Russian indicates someone
who has picked up Western values/culture but is often taken as an insult meaning
“ignorant and greedy with no sense or taste.”)
VISITING
Always bring a small gift (wine, vodka, chocolates, flowers, fruit, good tea,
calenders, books (lit and art), CDs, cassettes, fancy soaps, items with logo or
unavailable in Russia). It is imperative to bring a gift for the children
(chocolate, small toys, pens, crayons, notebook) Give gifts immediately upon
arrival. Do not wrap them: if they open them immediately, they are
considered too eager and rude. When they open them later, you will receive
no thanks. Russians consider it rude to gush over gifts.
Honored guests are greeted at the door with bread and salt.
Remove your outdoor shoes at the door: tapochki (slippers) will be provided. It is
considered rude to walk around indoors barefoot or in stockings. For formal
occasions, keep your shoes on but wipe them carefully before entering.
Russian homes are overpoweringly warm to western visitors. They usually have a
small hinged windowpane to relieve the heat for visitors, called a fortochka.
You are expected to stay for a long conversation. If you leave early from a party,
acknowledge your departure openly: to not do so is considered rude and is
actually called ‘leaving like an American’.
Never leave a party before the guest of honor. If you are the guest of honor, do
not linger too late.
A dezhurnaya is the floor woman still in apartment buildings. Give her a souvenir;
pity and sympathy are sound Russian qualities and if you complain about your
day she will feel kindly toward you.
TRIPS
Before leaving on a long journey, they sit on their luggage and sigh loudly. This
gives their soul time to re-enter their body from wherever it is lounging about
elsewhere in the house and is considered a guarantee of a good journey.
GOING OUT: THEATRES AND THE ARTS
Nekulturny (uncultured) is the worst insult you can call a Russian.
“‘Rachmanov’s Second Symphony’ or ‘The Volga Boatman’ reduces even the most
stoic Russian to tears.”
Theatres serve white bread open sandwiches of salami, smoked fish, caviar; bars of
chocolate; fruit juice and champagne.
Leave your coat, hat and boots at the cloakroom in a restaurant and theatre. Make
sure you have an intact coat hook: it is considered extremely bad form and rude if
you do not. This is not done at sporting events or movies. Bring shoes to the
theatre and restaurant to change into.
In theaters, etc, cross by people FACING them, not the screen or stage. Turning
you back to them is a rude insult.
Primping at the mirrors in the coatroom is acceptable.
CLOTHING
Shorts are not appropriate except at sporting events.
Russians wear more somber colors than Westerners. Very light or bright colors
make you appear lazy and unreliable to Russians.
DATING
Is not allowed until 16, then it is group dating. Public affection by teenagers will
land them in the principal’s office or get them scolded by strangers on the
street.
In college, couple dating is allowed. It is called ‘to meet’.
EATING
Hospitality is the cornerstone of Russian life. They will immediately feed you. It is
considered socially important. Never decline food or drink, refusal is taken
as a very serious offense. Russians will ask “Don’t you respect me?” if you
refuse.
Try everything and take second helpings, to refuse is an insult.
The number one problem with visitors to Russia is overeating. There is even a
Russian phrase for the concept: Demyan’s Fish Soup: being forced to eat
against your will.
Guests who leave food on their plates honor their hosts. It means they have eaten
well.
Russians don’t consider that they’ve eaten unless meat is in meal.
Russians help themselves without asking for food to be passed.
Pointing with your fork or knife is extremely rude.
Russians don’t use salt: their food is very bland.
Russians don’t use ice, they drink beverages at room temperature. (Cold liquid is
thought to cause throat illnesses)
Being invited into the kitchen for a meal, tea, or something stronger is a high
compliment. Only the closest friends are received in the kitchen. It is
considered the cosiest place and best loved for the most meaningful
conversations take place here. invitation for meal, tea or stronger a
compliment. most meaningful conversation takes place here.
At formal occasions, don’t start eating until the host has.
Don’t start drinking without making a toast to the host, the hostess and the
country. Toast your host and hostess separately.
At meals, vodka and alcohol are only for toasting.
Keep your glass full to avoid replenishment.
If on the train, share what you have to eat and drink with the people in your
compartment.
Outings to restaurants are rare, big and expensive events. Expect extensive
appetizers, a main course, dessert, mineral water, wine, champangne, vodka
and cognac.
Service in restaurants is expected to be slow, leaving lots of time to dance
between courses.
It is considered extremely bad form to split a bill for meals, so fight to pay for
everyone by saying Ubiritye dyengi ya ugashayu. (Put your money away, it’s
my shout.) If you lose, accept politely and fight again the next time.
MEALS
Tea is never served with a meal. It is served after breakfast and supper, and for
mid-morning break.
If you are invited for a meal, expect to stay for a long time afterward conversing.
Especially after supper. It is rude to leave directly after eating.
BREAKFAST (zavtrak)
usually cottage cheese, pancakes, blinchi/syniki (pancakes made with cottage
cheese), jam, sliced cheese, cold ham, fried eggs, omelette, kasha (hot porridge
made with buckwheat or semolina, milk and sugar, and eaten with lots of butter),
sweet buns, ordinary bread, coffee, tea and soured milk. (kefir, smetana and
ryazhenka) no juice is served in the morning
TEA
Individual tea bags are not considered tea.
Loose tea place in a scalded teapot and hot water poured over it. It is allowed to
teep a few minutes until it makes a strong mix called zavarka.
A tea cozy placed over teapot and set on top of a samavor, if one is available.
Samavors only contain hot water.
Zavarka is poured into glasses (podstakannik) from the teapot and is weakened to
taste with water from the samavor.
Preserves are used to sweeten tea, rarely sugar is.
No milk is put in tea.
Tea is served with a side dish of varenye or midmorning with choch.
LUNCH (dinner: obyed)
Served at 1 pm, it is the main meal of the day–the dinner of most Westerners.
Consists of appetizers, soup, a main meat or fish course, rice or potatoes, desert.
It is not considered a meal if soup is not served.
SUPPER
served at 6:30-7 pm. No soup is served. Appetizers, main course, meat or fish,
desert, then tea. If guests are present, supper’s light meal becomes a feast.
First Course: zakushi: appetizers served at lunch and dinner (smoked fish, caviar,
meat, salad, pickled mushrooms, cucumbers)
Second Course: pyervoe: soup, clear with vegetables, sometimes with meat or
dumplings
Third Course: vtoroye: meat or fish with potatoes or rice
Fourth Course: tretye: dessert: chocolates, cake, stewed fruit (kompot), fruit
puree (kisel)
Fifth Course: tea
If guests are present, supper’s light meal becomes a feast.
CAVIAR
Best served: nice cold butter on white bread, add caviar and wash down with
chilled vodka.
DRINKING
Average Russian drinks a bottle of vodka a week.
Know your limits before you start drinking in Russia. It is an all or nothing affair,
moderation is not understood and viewed suspiciously.
Claiming to be sick is not an excuse not to drink, vodka is considered a universal
remedy: it cures everything. The only refusal Russians understand is a claim
to be a recovering alcoholic. This will, in fact, earn you a great deal of
respect.
Alcohol is served in measured grams, not shots. Pidisyat gram (50 grams) is a shot,
sto gram (100 grams) a double, and dvyesti gram (200 grams) is the usual
amount shared over a meal.
Once a bottle of vodka is opened, it must be emptied. (This is partly because
Russian vodka bottles have a peel-off tin cap that cannot be reclosed.)
Vodka must be drunk to the bottom, especially when toasting. Mixing or sipping
vodka is considered cowardly, poor form and rude.
Ask for chut-chut “just a little” and you’ll get ½ as much.
Vodka is considered perfect when chilled to 10 degrees Celsius and drunk by shot
(50 grams).
Vodka bottles are usually shared between three people. (Will you be the third?)
Vodka is drank intermittently with pickle juice to prevent future hangovers.
Pickle juice is also considered a hangover cure, as is kifir, buttermilk served cold.
At parties vodka is served frozen into blocks of ice. It should be so cold it is
almost viscous.
At meals, vodka and alcohol is only for toasting, not drinking with your food. Never
drink it without a ‘command’ or a toast: only fruit juice and mineral water are
drank without a toast.
First toast is always from the guest to the host, than a separate one to the hostess.
Toasts are sometimes lengthy and occasionally humorous. Toasts to peace,
friendship, thanks to the hosts and to their beautiful city and country are
appreciated.
You must clink glasses during a toast, it is essential unless you are toasting the
dead.
If you do not drink a toast to the bottom, you are considered to be excusing
yourself from the toast and it is extremely rude.
Bread and vodka ritual: 50 gram and rye bread–khlyep chornih. Breathe in and out
quickly, bring food to the tip of your nose in blessing, down the vodka and
then eat the bread.
Samagon: homemade vodka.
Stolichnaya: vodka with sugar in it.
Shampanskaye is Russian champagne, it is only used for celebrations.
Kvass is the most popular summer drink (usually non-alcoholic, but not necessarily).
A sweet/sour blend of sugar and rye. Considered to both quench thirst and
improve both digestion and the human spirit.
obmyt is a ‘wet toast’, generally for a new household purchase or a medal awarded.
Medal or house key is dropped into vodka or champagne and it must be downed
before key can be used again or medal can be worn.
THE BATHHOUSE (Banya)
Believed to offer both physical and moral purification.
A visit to the banya is a pleasure no Russian would dream of giving up.
It is an honor and sign of confidence to be invited to the bathhouse. Do not refuse.
“vodka-blooded” Russians meet friends in the bathhouse the same time each week.
Take a towel, shampoo, plastic shoes, tea and/or beer and vodka.
RITUAL IN A LARGE PUBLIC BATHHOUSE:
Strip in the undressing room. (prebannik)
Wash in the wash room. (moechnaya)
Buy birch twig bundle.(vyenik)
Move into the steam room (parilka). Sit naked on wooden benches (the higher the
hotter), dip twigs into bucket of hot water to soften and thrash yourself or your
friends for five minutes. This is believed to detoxify the body: it releases
delightful forest aroma. Drink, play chess and chat.(This sharing is highly prized
and called dushevaya)
Immerse yourself in the cold pool (basyeyn). Drink beer and chat.
Start over.
Continue for the day.
As you leave wish good health to companions by saying S lyokhkim poram! (With
light steam!)
RITUAL IN SMALL/HOME BATHOUSE:
Same as public bathhouse, except all takes place in one room with a stone, wood-
heated stove. Water is boiled in kettles and poured on heated stones to create
steam.
Sit or lie naked on wooden benches and thrash yourself/others with vyenik.
The cold water at the end is either water from a bucket, a shower inside, or often
from a roll in the snow or a dip in a local lake or river.
Russia comprises 1/6th of the Earth’s total land mass. It contains 11 time zones and
dozens of country-states where over 100 ethnic groups live.
The twenty-four hour clock is customarily used. When it is not, time is given with
morning, evening, night or day added, not am or pm There are different
grammar rules before the ½ hour and after the ½ hour. When written, a
period is used, not a colon. (4.10, not 4:10)
Always carry tissues with you, toilet paper is not always available in public
restrooms.
Inappropriately using the familiar ty form when you speak is an insult. There is a
ceremony called brudershaft to move from vy to ty. You pour drinks, link
arms, drink, and kiss two times.
Phone calls are answered with Da? Or Allo? Phone calls are often interrupted or
disconnected and Russians consider it rude to discuss anything important on
the phone.
Street intersections often have underground passageways, called perekhody, and
there is a fine if you don’t use them.
Russians claim that in Russia there are only two types of smoking areas: ‘smoking’
and ‘chain smoking’. Do not expect to find a no smoking area anywhere.
NAMES
Russian names traditionally consist of the imya (first name/Christian name)(Pavel),
otchestov (patronymic: father’s name with ‘son of’ or ‘daughter of’ suffix)
(Andrieivich: son of Andrie), and familya (family name) (Chekov).
They greet each other and refer to each other by their imya and otchestov. Except
by family and very close friends, the imya and patronymic are always used.
(Pavel Andrieivich)
They introduce each other and sign their names with their imya and familya. (Pavel
Chekov)
They always sign letters to familiars, and often times to others, with their first
initial.(P)
Family and close friends will use any one of a dozen diminutives for a person.
(Pasha, Pashka, Pavelotchka, Pavelrushka, Andriech...) Or pet
names/nicknames. (Malyenki, etc)
For someone very close, it is a sign of respect to only use their otchestov.
(Andrieivich)
GREETINGS
Russians shake hands with strangers when they greet and when they part. Always
take off your gloves or mittens to shake hands, and never shake hands over a
threshold. Russians believe this will cause an argument between you. (Women
must offer their hands first.)
Russian greetings are seen as cool to Westerners. Do not smile: it is seen as a sign
of stupidity or foolishness.
Russians give bear hugs to close friends and family members, and kiss each other
on each cheek. The person being greeted always kisses the greeter.
Russians kiss people three times on the cheek as a sign of devotion. (3 is considered
a lucky number because “God loves the trinity.”)
Lack of physical contact is a sign that something is wrong to Russians.
It is not considered impolite not to introduce a new person: introduce yourself if
you want.
COMMON MANNERS
Russians wear their wedding rings on the RIGHT ring finger, not the left.
Russians value respect for those older than you, learning and personal feelings.
Russians are proud of their culture and enjoy talking about art, music, literature
and dance.
Russians may complain about their culture and country: never agree with them!
Knowledge about their culture and history is appreciated.
Russians greatly appreciate any attempt to speak their language.
Russians stand close to each other when talking. Personal space (the amount of room
left between people for comfort) is only 6"-10". (For Americans it is three
feet)
Sharing space and touching are considered positive values. With members of their
own sex they will hug, stroll arm in arm, touch each others hands and arms,
and occasionally kiss on the lips when talking. Women tend to sit while talking
to each other. Lack of physical contact is considered a sign that there is
something wrong between the two speakers.
They value baring their souls to each other, and someone is not considered a friend
until they have: the best way is when two people get completely drunk with
each other. A real relationship involves “touching each others souls”.
There is no Russian word for privacy. Listening to and butting into stranger’s
conversations is both common and expected.
Staring is not considered impolite.
Russians will approach both adults and children on the street with advice and
correct bad manners and dressing improperly for the weather. This is
considered a reflection of proper concern, not criticism. Anything they feel
is ‘uncultured’ will bring this attention of apparent strangers. The list of
activities which are unacceptable include not checking your coat, sitting on
the floor in a public building, putting your feet on the chair in front of you,
sitting with your legs spread out in front of you, not wearing a warm enough
coat, not buttoning your coat the entire way, sitting on concrete in a bathing
suit... you may be scolded NELZYA! (It isn’t done! It’s taboo!)
Do not smile at strangers, it is taken as a sign of stupidity.
Smiling is a sign of approval, smiles are not given freely.
It is considered extremely rude to make someone else look bad. Russians ask
questions so that the other person has a graceful way out. (Do you not know
where...?) (No, I don't know whre...).
If you disagree with someone, DO NOT hurt their feelings but deal with it openly.
Russians indicate disagreement by saying ‘we’ll have to see what we can do’.
White lies (vranyo) are considered a polite way not to offend another person or
cause problems.
Compliments are considered to diminish a person. They may spit over their
shoulders three times to ward off bad luck.
Raising your voice to a Russian will cause them to feel saddened and betrayed.
Swearing and dirty jokes, when not among friends, are considered a sign of
hooliganism. They are never done in front of a woman for any reason.
If you are late for a meeting, it is taken as disrespectful and rude. (Meetings,
however, usually start 10-20 minutes after everyone has arrived.
Exchanging business cards is a serious event in Russia. Make sure you have plenty
if you visit.
Russians are still very traditional to woman still and appreciate it when women are
‘feminine’ and respect their culture. Allow them to open doors, light cigarettes, kiss
your hand. Women will often hear “Razreshihtye vam pamech” (Let me help you.)
The correct response is “Vih ochin dabrih” (You’re very kind).
Russians will not offer their hand to a woman, but will shake hands if the woman
offers. They will only greet a woman with a handshake, they will not part with one.
In stores, clerks will put the change on the counter, never into your hand: it is
considered rude. You may be expected to pay the same way: look for a dish
on the counter or watch others.
Stores all close for an hour for lunch (supper) at 1 or 2 pm.
It is as common to give flowers to a man as it is to give them to a woman. Men
usually get carnations or daffodils rather than roses, however. Flowers must
be given in ODD numbers, except in the case of a death/funeral.
Printed cards are a sign of disrespect, it is taken as though you could not spare the
time to write a few words about your life.
Russians outline in black the names of people that have died. Don’t do this on memos
or in your datebook/calender. They will consider it a sign of your feeling of
doom about the item circled.
Dogs are working animals in Russia, don’t pet them unless they are obviously lap
dogs.
Picking mushrooms in late summer/early fall is the national favorite sport. (sobirat
griby) (gathering mushrooms) They are a delicacy but are never eaten raw:
they are pickled or marinated.
Russians are perplexed by the daily washing of hair: it is considered very bad for
the hair.
Couples are told by Russian Orthodox Church to cover icons in the bedroom before
having sex.
Traditional Russian women only wear their hair down to convey saddness.
If you compliment a Russian on a household item or an item they are wearing, they
will usually give it to you.
Never call a Russian ‘comrade’ or a ‘new Russian’. (A New Russian indicates someone
who has picked up Western values/culture but is often taken as an insult meaning
“ignorant and greedy with no sense or taste.”)
VISITING
Always bring a small gift (wine, vodka, chocolates, flowers, fruit, good tea,
calenders, books (lit and art), CDs, cassettes, fancy soaps, items with logo or
unavailable in Russia). It is imperative to bring a gift for the children
(chocolate, small toys, pens, crayons, notebook) Give gifts immediately upon
arrival. Do not wrap them: if they open them immediately, they are
considered too eager and rude. When they open them later, you will receive
no thanks. Russians consider it rude to gush over gifts.
Honored guests are greeted at the door with bread and salt.
Remove your outdoor shoes at the door: tapochki (slippers) will be provided. It is
considered rude to walk around indoors barefoot or in stockings. For formal
occasions, keep your shoes on but wipe them carefully before entering.
Russian homes are overpoweringly warm to western visitors. They usually have a
small hinged windowpane to relieve the heat for visitors, called a fortochka.
You are expected to stay for a long conversation. If you leave early from a party,
acknowledge your departure openly: to not do so is considered rude and is
actually called ‘leaving like an American’.
Never leave a party before the guest of honor. If you are the guest of honor, do
not linger too late.
A dezhurnaya is the floor woman still in apartment buildings. Give her a souvenir;
pity and sympathy are sound Russian qualities and if you complain about your
day she will feel kindly toward you.
TRIPS
Before leaving on a long journey, they sit on their luggage and sigh loudly. This
gives their soul time to re-enter their body from wherever it is lounging about
elsewhere in the house and is considered a guarantee of a good journey.
GOING OUT: THEATRES AND THE ARTS
Nekulturny (uncultured) is the worst insult you can call a Russian.
“‘Rachmanov’s Second Symphony’ or ‘The Volga Boatman’ reduces even the most
stoic Russian to tears.”
Theatres serve white bread open sandwiches of salami, smoked fish, caviar; bars of
chocolate; fruit juice and champagne.
Leave your coat, hat and boots at the cloakroom in a restaurant and theatre. Make
sure you have an intact coat hook: it is considered extremely bad form and rude if
you do not. This is not done at sporting events or movies. Bring shoes to the
theatre and restaurant to change into.
In theaters, etc, cross by people FACING them, not the screen or stage. Turning
you back to them is a rude insult.
Primping at the mirrors in the coatroom is acceptable.
CLOTHING
Shorts are not appropriate except at sporting events.
Russians wear more somber colors than Westerners. Very light or bright colors
make you appear lazy and unreliable to Russians.
DATING
Is not allowed until 16, then it is group dating. Public affection by teenagers will
land them in the principal’s office or get them scolded by strangers on the
street.
In college, couple dating is allowed. It is called ‘to meet’.
EATING
Hospitality is the cornerstone of Russian life. They will immediately feed you. It is
considered socially important. Never decline food or drink, refusal is taken
as a very serious offense. Russians will ask “Don’t you respect me?” if you
refuse.
Try everything and take second helpings, to refuse is an insult.
The number one problem with visitors to Russia is overeating. There is even a
Russian phrase for the concept: Demyan’s Fish Soup: being forced to eat
against your will.
Guests who leave food on their plates honor their hosts. It means they have eaten
well.
Russians don’t consider that they’ve eaten unless meat is in meal.
Russians help themselves without asking for food to be passed.
Pointing with your fork or knife is extremely rude.
Russians don’t use salt: their food is very bland.
Russians don’t use ice, they drink beverages at room temperature. (Cold liquid is
thought to cause throat illnesses)
Being invited into the kitchen for a meal, tea, or something stronger is a high
compliment. Only the closest friends are received in the kitchen. It is
considered the cosiest place and best loved for the most meaningful
conversations take place here. invitation for meal, tea or stronger a
compliment. most meaningful conversation takes place here.
At formal occasions, don’t start eating until the host has.
Don’t start drinking without making a toast to the host, the hostess and the
country. Toast your host and hostess separately.
At meals, vodka and alcohol are only for toasting.
Keep your glass full to avoid replenishment.
If on the train, share what you have to eat and drink with the people in your
compartment.
Outings to restaurants are rare, big and expensive events. Expect extensive
appetizers, a main course, dessert, mineral water, wine, champangne, vodka
and cognac.
Service in restaurants is expected to be slow, leaving lots of time to dance
between courses.
It is considered extremely bad form to split a bill for meals, so fight to pay for
everyone by saying Ubiritye dyengi ya ugashayu. (Put your money away, it’s
my shout.) If you lose, accept politely and fight again the next time.
MEALS
Tea is never served with a meal. It is served after breakfast and supper, and for
mid-morning break.
If you are invited for a meal, expect to stay for a long time afterward conversing.
Especially after supper. It is rude to leave directly after eating.
BREAKFAST (zavtrak)
usually cottage cheese, pancakes, blinchi/syniki (pancakes made with cottage
cheese), jam, sliced cheese, cold ham, fried eggs, omelette, kasha (hot porridge
made with buckwheat or semolina, milk and sugar, and eaten with lots of butter),
sweet buns, ordinary bread, coffee, tea and soured milk. (kefir, smetana and
ryazhenka) no juice is served in the morning
TEA
Individual tea bags are not considered tea.
Loose tea place in a scalded teapot and hot water poured over it. It is allowed to
teep a few minutes until it makes a strong mix called zavarka.
A tea cozy placed over teapot and set on top of a samavor, if one is available.
Samavors only contain hot water.
Zavarka is poured into glasses (podstakannik) from the teapot and is weakened to
taste with water from the samavor.
Preserves are used to sweeten tea, rarely sugar is.
No milk is put in tea.
Tea is served with a side dish of varenye or midmorning with choch.
LUNCH (dinner: obyed)
Served at 1 pm, it is the main meal of the day–the dinner of most Westerners.
Consists of appetizers, soup, a main meat or fish course, rice or potatoes, desert.
It is not considered a meal if soup is not served.
SUPPER
served at 6:30-7 pm. No soup is served. Appetizers, main course, meat or fish,
desert, then tea. If guests are present, supper’s light meal becomes a feast.
First Course: zakushi: appetizers served at lunch and dinner (smoked fish, caviar,
meat, salad, pickled mushrooms, cucumbers)
Second Course: pyervoe: soup, clear with vegetables, sometimes with meat or
dumplings
Third Course: vtoroye: meat or fish with potatoes or rice
Fourth Course: tretye: dessert: chocolates, cake, stewed fruit (kompot), fruit
puree (kisel)
Fifth Course: tea
If guests are present, supper’s light meal becomes a feast.
CAVIAR
Best served: nice cold butter on white bread, add caviar and wash down with
chilled vodka.
DRINKING
Average Russian drinks a bottle of vodka a week.
Know your limits before you start drinking in Russia. It is an all or nothing affair,
moderation is not understood and viewed suspiciously.
Claiming to be sick is not an excuse not to drink, vodka is considered a universal
remedy: it cures everything. The only refusal Russians understand is a claim
to be a recovering alcoholic. This will, in fact, earn you a great deal of
respect.
Alcohol is served in measured grams, not shots. Pidisyat gram (50 grams) is a shot,
sto gram (100 grams) a double, and dvyesti gram (200 grams) is the usual
amount shared over a meal.
Once a bottle of vodka is opened, it must be emptied. (This is partly because
Russian vodka bottles have a peel-off tin cap that cannot be reclosed.)
Vodka must be drunk to the bottom, especially when toasting. Mixing or sipping
vodka is considered cowardly, poor form and rude.
Ask for chut-chut “just a little” and you’ll get ½ as much.
Vodka is considered perfect when chilled to 10 degrees Celsius and drunk by shot
(50 grams).
Vodka bottles are usually shared between three people. (Will you be the third?)
Vodka is drank intermittently with pickle juice to prevent future hangovers.
Pickle juice is also considered a hangover cure, as is kifir, buttermilk served cold.
At parties vodka is served frozen into blocks of ice. It should be so cold it is
almost viscous.
At meals, vodka and alcohol is only for toasting, not drinking with your food. Never
drink it without a ‘command’ or a toast: only fruit juice and mineral water are
drank without a toast.
First toast is always from the guest to the host, than a separate one to the hostess.
Toasts are sometimes lengthy and occasionally humorous. Toasts to peace,
friendship, thanks to the hosts and to their beautiful city and country are
appreciated.
You must clink glasses during a toast, it is essential unless you are toasting the
dead.
If you do not drink a toast to the bottom, you are considered to be excusing
yourself from the toast and it is extremely rude.
Bread and vodka ritual: 50 gram and rye bread–khlyep chornih. Breathe in and out
quickly, bring food to the tip of your nose in blessing, down the vodka and
then eat the bread.
Samagon: homemade vodka.
Stolichnaya: vodka with sugar in it.
Shampanskaye is Russian champagne, it is only used for celebrations.
Kvass is the most popular summer drink (usually non-alcoholic, but not necessarily).
A sweet/sour blend of sugar and rye. Considered to both quench thirst and
improve both digestion and the human spirit.
obmyt is a ‘wet toast’, generally for a new household purchase or a medal awarded.
Medal or house key is dropped into vodka or champagne and it must be downed
before key can be used again or medal can be worn.
THE BATHHOUSE (Banya)
Believed to offer both physical and moral purification.
A visit to the banya is a pleasure no Russian would dream of giving up.
It is an honor and sign of confidence to be invited to the bathhouse. Do not refuse.
“vodka-blooded” Russians meet friends in the bathhouse the same time each week.
Take a towel, shampoo, plastic shoes, tea and/or beer and vodka.
RITUAL IN A LARGE PUBLIC BATHHOUSE:
Strip in the undressing room. (prebannik)
Wash in the wash room. (moechnaya)
Buy birch twig bundle.(vyenik)
Move into the steam room (parilka). Sit naked on wooden benches (the higher the
hotter), dip twigs into bucket of hot water to soften and thrash yourself or your
friends for five minutes. This is believed to detoxify the body: it releases
delightful forest aroma. Drink, play chess and chat.(This sharing is highly prized
and called dushevaya)
Immerse yourself in the cold pool (basyeyn). Drink beer and chat.
Start over.
Continue for the day.
As you leave wish good health to companions by saying S lyokhkim poram! (With
light steam!)
RITUAL IN SMALL/HOME BATHOUSE:
Same as public bathhouse, except all takes place in one room with a stone, wood-
heated stove. Water is boiled in kettles and poured on heated stones to create
steam.
Sit or lie naked on wooden benches and thrash yourself/others with vyenik.
The cold water at the end is either water from a bucket, a shower inside, or often
from a roll in the snow or a dip in a local lake or river.
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