Ode to the Security Chief adapted lyrics by Patricia Wright and Elizabeth K. Frim to original lyrics and music by Rick Kohlker  ("Captain Tin God") Oh, Chief Tin God, hear us please: We just want one day of leave. We have worked our fingers raw, Changing circuits, righting wrongs. Security's a bitter cup-- The new intruder's a beagle pup! Oh, Chief Tin God, hear us please: for our sanity, do we grieve. "Fix the phasers": we'd love to, Sir, but that damn Scotsman's working there. So we blasted into the room: I think it's time we built our tomb. Engineers are obnoxious pests-- Between you and them, we don't get no rest. Oh, Chief Chekov, what could we do? Now he's after your head too. Oh, Chief Chekov, hear our cries: We are all about to die. So it seems that you were right, should have fixed them late last nigh. Oh, Chief Tin God, on our knees-- please forgive us, this we plead. We didn't know there'd be Klingon ships (They were only sensor blips.) Now the Captain's 'a little mad': He ordered phasers he didn't have. Oh, Chief Tin God, spare us please: This we beg on bended knees. We have tried our very best, Don't we get ONE day of rest? Oh, Chief Chekov, hear our raves-- We are all devoted braves. This will surely promote you, Sir, Destroying Klingons that never were. Oh, Sir---NO! This must be fake, You wouldn't burn us at the stake!!!